Days of Future Present
(Flock of Seagulls - I Ran)

I think in order to be happy – in order to deal with the future in a correct and positive manner – one shouldn’t go around thinking life isn’t as good as it used to be. Life must be better now than it ever was before, and life is only going to become better and better in the future -- Tyler

And life is better than it has been in the past. I’ve traded a lot of cans of sorrow for a few bags of cheer and beer.
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Sonia and I have this little game we play. We take turns poking each other in the stomach to find each other’s belly buttons. The first one to find it gets to flick the other person’s forehead with their finger. If you ever see us with red foreheads, we’ve been playing the game.

Belly buttons are odd things, aren’t they? They come in all sorts of sizes, shapes and colours. They can be high or low on your stomach. They can be innies or outties; lint-filled or lint-free. We all have them though. They’re remnants of that single point of connection between you and your mother. It’s a reminder that someone put their life on hold for 9 months, just so you could realize your own dreams.

Mother’s day is coming up, flick your mom on the forehead.
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So I walk into work and two of my coworkers who sit next to each other, are both wearing bright orange shirts. I quickly suggest that I should sit in between them with my white shirt so that we could form a human creamsicle. I get a small sarcastic chuckle from the both of them.

My office is getting a face lift next week. We’re doing renovations to tear down walls and reorganize so that we can fit more people into the building. My new cubicle will be outside my boss’ office. Apparently, his wall will be torn down and replaced with a glass wall so that it looks less cramped. I think it’s just so he can keep an eye on me. I’ll take some new pictures of my cubicle when it’s finished.
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Please welcome my good friend Vi to the blogging world. She needs massive psychotherapy but she’s good people (I learned this from the school of rap) and good people are hard to come by.
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Last night I dreamt Tom Sellick was my dad and he was walking around in my dream showing everyone his circumcision scars. Every time he whipped it out, the theme song for Magnum PI would start up. I might be the one that needs psychotherapy soon.

Buy low, watch it grow.
(PVD fet. Saint Etienne - Tell Me Why)

1 239 079 people fell in love today. 1 023 079 people fell out of love. Boosted by the season of spring and lots of upcoming weddings, Love gained 216 points; showing strong signs that the market is well on its way to recovery.

Imagine if we could track the value of love like this?

Buy Low, Sell High
(PSB - Rent)

I started this post on somewhat of a downer. I was writing down fatal flaws that I have. I found it to be too depressing by the time I got to my 3rd fatal flaw. I want to be self-reflective but not at the cost of demoralizing myself on a Friday. I need to either lighten up or become perfect.
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Last weekend I ate at a Brazilian restaurant in Montreal. We had 10 different roasted meats, sautéed mushrooms, salad, salsa, sweet potatoes and rice. It was definitely a meat lover’s fantasy.

Mary had a little lamb and I ate the fucker for the first time. I didn’t enjoy it much. I found the aftertaste to be too pungent for my palate. However, I did enjoy the roast beef, sausages, rib eye steak, chicken, prime rib and other meats.

I guess if you’re a lamb and you’re balding, you’ve pretty much got one foot in the grave, huh? I wonder if the lamb I ate was one of those poor suckers.
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If there is a God, I think the only reason he hasn’t shown himself yet is because he’s waiting for everyone to become atheists so he could say, “Ha, I told you so!” That will go down in history as the biggest “I told you so” ever. Right after that you’ll witness the biggest bandwagon jumping.
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Happy Earth Day everyone!

Window of Life
(Christopher Cross – Swept Away)

Last week I went to a seminar on new wireless business phone systems at Nortel. On the way back I get a crack in my windshield from pebble that came from a truck tire. I call my insurance company and find out that it’s covered under comprehensive damage and I would have to pay my $300 deductible to have it fixed. Not as bad as I had thought but still $300 out of my pocket. So I mention this to my boss at the water cooler and he told me to have it fixed and to bring in the receipt so that the company could reimburse me for the cost since it occurred on company time. My company rocks!
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Back in high school I had a friend who liked this girl. Though the girl was nothing special and personally I thought my friend was too good for her, he still pursued her like there was no other woman in the world. Even after being rejected numerous times. He pursued her for about 2 years before she finally gave in and went out with him. Last I heard they were still going out in university. I lost touch after that. It’s not too uncommon to see a guy pursue a girl relentlessly like that, is it? You see it in the movies all the time. Have you ever seen a girl pursue a guy like that? What is it about us guys that allow us to have such a high tolerance for rejection?

What’s the longest you’ve chased after a girl/guy you’ve liked? I believe my longest pursuit was 2 months. I’m like a cheetah when it comes to pursuit of girls, I can run really fast but distance is a problem for me.
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I have a laptop running by my desk with a screen saver that runs a slideshow of pictures. Vacation pictures of a co-worker of mine. It’s refreshing. It makes up for the fact that I don’t have a window to look out of. It’s like a window into someone else’s life sans the rainy weather, rush hour and the annoying people. Probably too idealistic but it beats watching real life sometimes.

One day I’d like this slideshow to be pictures from moments in my own life, including the occasional bad moment. Hopefully it’ll still be as pleasant to look at as someone else’s vacation pictures.

Take Your Hearts Outside, Leaves Your Lives Behind
(Dubstar – Stars)

While driving home from basketball yesterday, I had the sudden impulse to turn around and head north. No destination in mind, just north. Every now and then I have that need for flight. It’s a sign that I’m due for a vacation. I have a friend who’s touring Asia right now for three weeks. That’s something I’ve been telling myself that I needed to do right after I graduated from university. It’s been almost 7 years now and I’ve yet to leave this continent. This begs the question, “What am I waiting for??”

I guess with me it has always been about finding stability before I did anything risky. I could have left for Japan to teach for a year right after graduation but I decided to stay and find a job in my field before taking any extended vacation. I ended up working odd jobs for a year and then going back to school to get a post-grad diploma.

Now I’ve got a stable job and steady income but I still have oodles and oodles of student loans to pay off, as well as my car loan. For me, there always seems to be an excuse not to go. There’ll always be an excuse not to do something but if the world was going to end tomorrow, I’m sure I’d be rushing to finish all the things I’ve dreamt about doing all my life. Some of those I’d obviously never get around to and regret not making the time sooner.

So if there’s no tomorrow and all I have is here and now, would I be happy with what I’ve got and what I’ve already accomplished? Probably not. I doubt many of us would be. Does that mean I’m not happy with my life -- not at all. I just need to be more aggressive with pursuing some of my dreams.

Movies
(New Order - Love Less)

Saw Sideways on the weekend. Pretty enjoyable movie, however, I hated the main character.

I hate loveable losers in general. Don’t get me wrong, loveable losers make for great comedy but the appeal of their ineptness is lost on me. I think for most people, they like these characters because they can identify with them. We’re all a little awkward at times (except maybe for the Fonz, he was always cool). I understand that. For me, I hate my awkwardness. I dread my awkwardness. Seeing me on the screen would make me cringe. I’d slap myself on the forehead constantly saying, “WTF were you thinking?”

I found Sideways to be very similar to Swingers. The main characters are almost identical. Mike (Jon Favreau) in Swingers, broke up with his girlfriend and is dealing with being away from her in a new city. Miles (Paul Giamatti) in Sideways, is dealing with a divorce and his ex-wife getting remarried. Both characters have their best friends trying to get them out of this funk. At one point in the movie Miles calls his ex-wife after getting completely hammered. I don’t know if anyone has ever done this – drink and dial -- it’s a bad, bad move. The equivalent of this for our generation would be to drink and msn. Do not do this. You end up saying things you shouldn’t and you end up making an ass of yourself. I’ve done it.
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Last night I saw I Heart Huckabees. A very creative and funny movie about existentialism, the ups and downs in life, our purpose on this earth, etc. Sartre would’ve had a good laugh. Here are some good quotes.

Albert Markovski: “Nobody sits like this rock sits. You rock, rock. The rock just sits and is. You show us how to just sit here and that's what we need.”

Vivian Jaffe: “Have you ever transcended space and time? “
Tommy Corn: “No. Yes. Uh, time not space. No. I have no idea what you're talking about.”
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Random Thoughts

Personality changes are like sleep in your eyes. They happen overnight but you never notice it until you take a good look in the mirror.

I read all my Coupland books on the can. I don’t think Dougie would have it any other way. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he wrote them on the can. I wonder how many great literary pieces have been conceived in bathroom.

I wonder if there are people in this world who fear solitude so much that they would handcuff themselves to another human being and throw away the key.

The Lights
(Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Whenever I Wake Up)


Whenever I wake up
try and pull the shades up
journey through this whole wide world I made up.

Goodness Gracious
(DJ Seto – Four Twenty One)

Here’s the question of the day…

Can a person be born evil?

The religious might say, because we are all God’s children – we are all born good. It is our life experiences that may jade us and cause malevolent behaviour. However, deep down, we are all still good at heart.

The optimistic atheist/agnostic might say we’re born neutral and we’re taught by our immediate family, friends and experiences about morals and values. This is what dictates our behaviour and intent.

The Star Wars fanatics might say we’re born one or the other – equal in number to balance out the universe.

There will likely be no agreement from one person to the next and there’s obviously no clear answer; it is and will always be a philosophical/theological debate.

What I do know is that I have yet to meet a person in my lifetime that was inherently evil.

Aliens and Golden Showers
Saint Etienne – He’s On The Phone

Amidst concerns that I am getting a little bit tubby, I have joined the world of the healthy eaters. This world sucks. This world is no fun. Send me home.

I’m trying to get in shape for the summer and the Nike 10K run in May. I’ve now joined the dieting millions in what hopes to be a cure for the common spare tire. I’m doing the “Body-for-Life” diet and workout regiment. Beyond vanity and health, the other reason I’m working out is to thwart any ideas from the aliens that I would be good a good meal. I read somewhere that if aliens wanted to eat humans, they’d probably pick the fat and young ones. Which makes sense because humans prefer fat cows to eat over the lean muscular race horses. Take also the example of veal and how it’s such a delicacy – those poor fat little calves. So I’m going to be a lean, mean, race horse so that the aliens will eat the rest of you fatties first.
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Love is a lot like fishing. It doesn’t matter how well you prepare yourself for it and what type of equipment you use, some days you’ll catch lots of fish and other days you won’t catch any at all. I’ve seen guys with old lacklustre rods catch more fish than other guys with shiny expensive equipment. It’s all about timing and conditions. If the fish are there, the conditions are right and your worm is enticing enough – anyone can catch a fish.
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Sin City on the weekend was excellent. It was a well-crafted true-to-its-form movie. Micky Rourke gave a great brute performance; Elijah Wood was creepy; Jessica Alba was tantalizingly hot; and the girl from Gilmour Girls got what she deserved.

For those intending to see this movie, beware of the violence. It is up there with Kill Bill, possibly a few notches higher.
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I don’t urinate enough according to my coworkers. I estimate that on average I urinate once in the morning and once at night. On my good days I’ll urinate mid-day as well. At first we had hypothesized that I don’t drink enough water. However, my recent fitness test showed that my body is 59% water which means that my body is within healthy range of hydration. So why am I such a camel? I think it’s purely psychological. As a child I was a bed-wetter. I think as I grew out of bed-wetting, my mind has conditioned my body to store urine as long as possible. This is also a defense mechanism just in case aliens try to eat me. Sort of like the squid and his black ink, I could piss all over those aliens.

Entertainment Today
(LL Cool J – Going Back to Cali)

I’d gladly accept indigestion for a little taste of the hot tamale known as Jessica Alba.

Wait...are hot tamales even hot enough to be compared with Jessica Alba? I’m not sure if it would do her justice. Though I would love to do her...justice.

Sonia is reading this right now and is preparing notes on how to grill me on my filthy thoughts. I’m sorry babes. I was just being facetious. (Jessica, if you’re reading this...call me ;) )
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Omg...I heard Robin Williams was a cocaine addict back in his Mork and Mindy days. This explains why he acts the way he does! He’s one actor I would pay NOT to see. Julia Roberts and Sandra Bullock are two other actors I’d avoid like the plague.
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So Billy Corgan is coming out with a solo album. He’s got Robert Smith in one of his songs as well. I miss the Smashing Pumpkins. They were a solid, solid band. Billy is a lyrical genius. I might have to pick up this cd.
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Lame post I know...but it’s Friday...and TGIDCWTFYT...thank god I don’t care what the f*ck you think.